Thank You for Your Opinion

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.
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I’ve always felt that becoming a mom makes you feel like you’re part of a club. There is this sorority of women who know the unique challenges you face, who nod emphatically when you talk about the last time you showered, the never-ending dish Everest on your kitchen counter, and the constant poop smell in your bathroom. Maybe at the beginning, you make excuses for it, but by the time a few months have gone by, even you don’t think it’s strange that you’re wearing you pajamas in Target.

In a way, becoming a mom makes you less judgmental. Whereas you used to scowl at the moms in the grocery store as they dragged along their toddlers who were sticky with that morning’s pancake breakfast, wearing swimsuit bottoms and a winter jacket, now you understand. Whereas you used to make a point of looking away when you saw a child throwing a tantrum in the shopping cart, now you give those kids’ moms a knowing half-smile.

I’m now the mom who has the kid with green boogers constantly running from his nose, hair perpetually un-brushed, who is dressed in either unmatched pajamas or the same color from head to toe. I let him run around explore the grocery store and yell express himself in parking lots. I let my kids pull all the books off the bookshelf if that’s what they want to do. I let Baby T paint his toys instead of paper because it keeps him busy for minutes at a time. I probably do all the things I said I would never do.

So why is there still a conflict among mamas when it comes to breastfeeding, discipline, and even medical issues like vaccinations and circumcision? When Baby T runs into another mom at the grocery store, her kids buckled tightly into the shopping cart, and she gives me a dirty look, why do I feel like she’s judging me? I can practically hear the teenage me saying, “Can’t you keep control of your kids?”

Here’s the thing though: my toddler stops when he reaches the edge of the street. He holds my hand in parking lots. He knows that electrical outlets can be dangerous. He understands that he shouldn’t hurt, push, or kick other people, and he seems genuinely sorry when he does hurt someone. I’m confident that I’m raising compassionate, caring, curious kids.

Honestly, I get more sweet smiles from old ladies and other moms than dirty looks. I don’t often feel judged. And when I do have to respond to a judgmental comment, I use a phrase a wise friend suggested. I just smile and say, “Thank you for your opinion.”


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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

• How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
• Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
• Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
• When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
• Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
• Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
• The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.
• Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
• Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.
• Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God's Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
• How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles... — Jenny at I'm a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
• Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
• Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
• Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
• Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
• Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
• Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
• Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
• Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
• If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
• Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
• Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.

• Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
• The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
• Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
• Speaking Up For Those Who Can't — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…"
• Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
• Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
• The Thing You Don't Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
• 3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
• Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
• Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.
• Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
• Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
• Have another kid and you won't care — Cassie of There's a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
• Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
• A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
• Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
• Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
• Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
• Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
• Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
• Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
• Explain, Smile, Escape — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
• Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
• Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert's Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses

Welcome to the January 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Experiments in Natural Family Living

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have reported on weeklong trials to make their lives a little greener. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I’ll admit it: I’m always making excuses. I don’t have time to exercise. I don’t have time to eat well. I don’t have time to menu plan. I must be the busiest person in the world. I act like I always have 10 trillion things to do. And I do. But so does everyone else. How many times do I catch myself vegging on the couch, watching TV, telling myself I can do those things tomorrow? I mean, it’s not like it doesn’t happen. I justify it by telling myself I need to relax, which is true. I need some me time. But me time also should include bettering myself.

I had gotten into a rut where I was constantly working on my business. I wasn’t cooking, I wasn’t cleaning, and I certainly wasn’t exercising. We were eating pasta and grilled cheese often—lots of gluten, not a lot of veggies. When I went to visit my family for Thanksgiving, I felt awful the entire trip. My stomach just wasn’t right. I was loading up on bread and sugar, and it wasn’t agreeing with me.

In order to make a change, I decided to start menu planning. Nothing major, just writing down my dinners for the week. Ok—of course I had to make it a little major at first. I always need to start off strong. So I dedicated one Sunday to cooking, spent a ton of money at Costco, cooked my brains out, and totally overwhelmed myself. I convinced myself that there was no way I was going to do that again.

And then I ended up having to cook less during the week, but I ate great. I eliminated most of the gluten I was eating, and I ate a lot of whole foods. And the next week came and I not only spent less time cooking, I didn’t really have to spend much money at the grocery store, either. After a month of menu planning, I spent way less than my monthly grocery budget, ate well-rounded meals chock full of veggies every night, and ended up with a ton of food still in my freezer.

There are plans for Once-a-Month Cooking out there that involve a detailed list of what to buy, how to prep, and how to prepare and freeze foods for the entire month. I’m dying to try it, but I don’t want to burn out. This month, I’m working on cleaning out the pantry and freezer. Once I’m done with that, I really want to try this power-cooking business. I’ll let you know if I survive.

For now, I’ll leave you with some tips for menu planning.

1. Organize yourself and write it down – Decide where you’re going to keep your menu and how you’re going to keep track of the recipes. If it’s all in a million places, it will be hard to keep track of everything, and you’re more likely to get overwhelmed. If I find a recipe I like online, I pin it on Pinterest. That way, I know all the recipes I want to try are in one place.
   
   As for my menu planning calendar, since I most often find recipes on the computer, I have a Word doc with a monthly calendar where I write my weekly menus. Below the calendar, I cut and paste the entire recipe for anything that uses one. That way it’s all in one place. If I am using a recipe from a cookbook, I write the name of the book and the page number on my calendar. Below is a link to my entire document for December, just so you can get an idea of what it looked like. It’s not fancy. It's long. But it’s all in one place, and it worked great for me. (Microsoft Office 2010 allows you to add clickable headings into Word, so even though it's long, I can easily find my recipe titles.)
   
   
   
2. Write it down – Just the fact that I was writing things down helped me plan. How many times do you decide what you’ll have for dinner the next day, and then the next day comes around and you’ve completely forgotten? That’s how I used to live my life, and it’s stressful. Even if I lost momentum on a given week, it only took me 5 minutes to sit in front of the calendar and decide what we would eat that week. Forcing myself to do it made me much less stressed the rest of the week. Also, keep an inventory of your freezer foods (and even the food in your pantry—I’m not that motivated, but I hope to get there.) I write what’s in my freezer directly on the freezer door using a dry-erase marker. That way I can’t lose my list.
   

   

   My freezer door: ugly but functional

   
   
3. Don’t try too many new things – If you try to do once-a-month meal planning at the same time that you’re trying 10 new recipes, you’re more likely to burn out. Start off slow.
4. Don’t bore yourself – At the same time, if you plan meals that you’ve made over and over again, you might get bored. I know I would. Maybe try two new recipes each week. Finding new foods to make will keep you motivated and give you more to include in future menus.
5. Cook one meal a week for the freezer – Don’t overdo it and try to make every meal in huge batches. Freezer meals still take longer to cook – you have to prep more food, use more pans, etc. But if you choose one meal a week (or a month) to double, you’ll have an easy freezer meal to pop out when you’re really not motivated to cook.

No matter what you think, you do have time to menu plan. The few minutes that it takes to write down what you’ll be eating for the week takes time off of your daily to-do list. It makes trips to the grocery store go quicker. And cooking in bulk—even a little bit—decreases the time spent in your kitchen, giving you more time in the long run.

Check out my new printable recipe cards for Salmon Burgers and Easy Homemade Pizza from yesterday's menu planning post. I'll be updating the recipe section of my website soon, and all of my recipes will be easily printable. Keep it bookmarked for more deliciousness!

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Make your own moisturizer! — Megan at boho mama whips up a winter skin-friendly moisturizer.
• Cold Water Only — Brittany at The Pistachio Project talks about how you do not need hot water to wash laundry.
• Family Cloth... Really?? — After lots of forethought and consideration, Momma Jorje finally decides to take the plunge with family cloth.
• Reduce, Reuse, Recycle : 5-5-5 Things A Day — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about decluttering her home in an attempt to create a gentler living space. She takes on a new project where she sets a goal of reducing, reusing and recycling every day.
• Pros and cons of family cloth — Lauren at Hobo Mama would love to continue replacing paper products with family cloth … if she could only get over how damp she feels.
• Craftily Parenting — Kellie at Our Mindful Life finds that crafting makes her a better parent.
• Changes — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen couldn't choose just one area to experiment with, so she wrote a long post about all the fun changes initiated in her life!
• Life without Internet: Not all it's Cracked up to Be — Adrienne at Mommying My Way tries to go a week without the Internet, only to realize a healthy dose of Internet usage really helps keep this stay-at-home mom connected.
• My Progression to Raw Milk — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares her natural parenting progression all the way to trying raw milk.
• mama's new little friend. — Sarah at Bitty Bird tries a menstrual cup to "green her period," and is pleasantly surprised when she falls in love with the product!
• Before you throw it out, try homemade laundry soap! — Jennifer at Practical OH Mommy shows visual proof that homemade laundry soap is cheaper, easier, and works better than the store-bought chemicals!
• Oil, Oil, No Toil, No Trouble — K from Very Simple Secret talks about her foray into the oil-cleansing method.
• I Need a Hobby — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro couldn't decide which experiment to run, so she did them all.
• 7 days of macrobiotics for a balanced family — The Stones make a [successful] attempt to release the "holiday junking" with 7 days of macrobiotic meals to balance their bodies and souls. Elisabeth at Manic Mrs. Stone includes an explanation of macrobiotics.
• Chemical Free Beauty Challenge — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction turned to natural alternatives for her daily beauty and cleaning routine, with great results.
• Greening my Armpits!? My Green Resolution — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about how she decided to give up her traditional antiperspirant and make the switch over to crystal deodorants and definitely isn't looking back!
• Going Raw (for a while) — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares her family's experience with raw food.
• Do we get to eat gluten today? — Sheila at A Gift Universe has been trying to figure out if her son does better with or without gluten in his diet … but it's really hard to tell for sure.
• Hippies Can Smell and Look Fabulous Too! — Arpita of Up, Down And Natural details her experience of going shampoo-free and overhauling her cosmetics to find the balance between feeling beautifully fabulous and honoring her inner hippie.
• Our cupboards are full...but there's nothing to eat — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud takes on the challenge of chomping through the contents of her storecupboard rather than going shopping — but there's something that she just can't bring herself to do …
• Elimination Experiment 3.0 — MudpieMama recounts the messy adventures of her baby daughter trying to be diaper free.
• Family Cloth Trial — Amyables at Toddler in Tow talks about making and using family cloth wipes in the bathroom for the first time.
• Taking a Hiatus — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares how her experience of much less internet interaction affected her family and how it will change her approach in the future.
• Trying Out the Menstrual Cup — Lindsey at an unschooling adventure ditches the tampons and gives menstrual cups a try.
• Managing Food Waste in Our Home — Tired of the holiday waste, Robbie at Going Green Mama takes a weeklong focus on reducing food waste in her home, and learns some lessons that can take her through the new year.
• Going Offline, Cloth Tissues, and Simplicity — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama muses over her time away from blogging and social networking. In addition, she shares her newfound love of cloth tissues and simplicity.

• The Oil Cleansing Method — Erica at ChildOrganics explores an easy, organic and natural way to tackle skin care.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living - Natural Toys! — Lani at Boobie Time enjoys the silence of natural toys and being more present with her son.
• Discovering a New City and Organic Foods — Amy at A Secure Base describes her family's switch to and search for organic foods for one week.
• My Experiment in Homemade Bread — Crunchy Con Mommy tried — and loved — baking her own homemade bread.
• Menu Planning: Stop the Excuses — Gaby at Tmuffin stopped the excuses and started planning her weekly meals, drastically cutting her grocery budget and stress level and improving the quality of foods she fed her family.
• My First Menstrual Cup — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children was pleasantly surprised with her first experience using a menstrual cup.
• My Natural Beauty Regime — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares the results of banishing cleanser and soaps from her bathroom, as well as a couple of natural homemade recipes that have worked well on her skin.
• Unplugging and Creating a Rhythm: Our Experiment in Natural Family Living — Dionna at Code Name: Mama focused less on gadgets and spent more time with her family to create a healthy rhythm for the new year.
• Experiments in Natural Family Living: 5 First Steps Toward Preparing for a Natural Birth — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama discusses how she tackled the pressing matter of how to begin preparing for a natural birth.
• All you need is...vinegar! — Kristen at My Semi-Crunchy Life learns that one household product can replace all the cleaners in her cabinet.
• Nope Nada Ixnay Negative Pass Decline — Zoie at TouchstoneZ finds out what shakes loose if she says, "YES!!" to anything anyone asks of her over the space of 10 days.
• Reducing our exposure to toxins found in plastics — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins throws out the melamine and BPA plastics which have been hanging around the kitchen for too long.
• Duh! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares how she began the process of helping her 2-year-old son stop physically acting out.
• Experiments in Natural Parenting: Starting, Stopping, and Gaining Perspective — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings explains how pregnancy brain interfered with her attempts to complete an experiment, but how she gained some interesting perspective as she started and stopped several.
• From Experiment to Lifestyle — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her experience avoiding processed foods for a month, and deciding to make it a permanent lifestyle change.
• From Disposable Paper to Reusable Cloth – AGAIN! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle stops flushing trees down the toilet and switches to the softest ever butt-wiping material: cloth.
• Extra! Extra! Water Heater Turned Down, Mom Doesn't Notice! — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis finds an energy-saving experiment that's so easy she didn't even realize it was happening.
• Worm Tea — CatholicMommy isn't sure how successful her worm bin will be, but she's having fun anyway.
• Miles to Go ... — Rachael at The Variegated Life learns that when it comes to sleep debt, she's in real deep.
• My Month With Water Kefir — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries experiments with a new fermented probiotic drink homemade in her own kitchen.
• OMG Mom is Home... All Day Everyday: A Week-Long Experiment in Connecting — What a difference a week makes! Ana at Pandamoly is afforded a week off from work and takes the chance to reconnect and reattach with her 16-month-old son through an experiment in simply being there.
• Creating Healthy Family Recipes — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares her experiment with healthy, gluten-free recipes and a chocolate muffin recipe that was created during the experiment.
• Adventures in Alternative Haircare: No 'Poo — This guest post at Natural Parents Network from Amy at Anktangle chronicles a months-long journey into the world of no 'poo.
• My Experiment in Natural Family Living: Natural Family Planning — Birth control options are seriously limited for those of us trying to live a little closer to the earth, so Mama Psalmist experiments with natural family planning.

Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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We spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Someone is usually eating, washing dishes, cleaning out the fridge, or doing a project in there. It’s the only room in the house that’s not carpeted, so it’s the one place where my kids are free to run with paintbrushes and play with water without me cringing. So on those days when the weather prevents us from going outside and the kids are getting cabin fever, off to the kitchen we go. It’s a never-ending smorgasbord of activities.

Save Money by Using What You Have

Welcome to the October Carnival of Natural Parenting: Money Matters

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how finances affect their parenting choices. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Surprisingly, I am decent with money. It’s not because I’m organized or Type A, I assure you. Nor am I obsessively frugal. I try really hard to do things like create a budget, micromanage my finances, use only cash, and clip coupons. But in reality, I have a general idea of what I have to spend every month, I splurge on things I really want need, I use my credit card for almost everything (although I pay it off monthly), and I rarely clip coupons.

So how was I able to leave a job where I was really comfortable and still afford my mortgage, my two kids, and my new grill? I’m resourceful. I save my money where I can so that I can spend it on the things I really need.

Preventing Tantrums through Play

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Ever since Baby T has been old enough to throw tantrums, it seems like my #1 parenting principle and mantra has been: Prevent Tantrum. It guides my day and parenting style. I’ve heard of the book “Playful Parenting” and have wanted to read it, because it seems right up my alley. I have found that the following equations are true:

Stern voice + controlling attitude = Tantrum
Loud voice + controlling attitude = Tantrum
Firm demands for compliance = Tantrum
Playing a game = a lot of extra time carved out of your day = an accommodating, happy-go-lucky kid

I never particularly planned to go this route, but it just began to happen. Toddlers need guidance well before they are old enough to use logic and reason (or even to be able to completely understand what you say to them). But they can sure throw tantrums before they have logic, reason, or communication.

So as Baby T began to need little bits of guidance here and there, we dealt that guidance with a fun, playful attitude. If we didn’t, it turned into—you guessed it—a tantrum. As you can see from the equations above, all we needed to do was throw our plans for efficiency out the window and keep a playful attitude. We were on toddler time now.

Creating With Kids - Don't Bite off More than you can Chew

Welcome to the August Carnival of Natural Parenting: Creating With Kids
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how they make messes and masterpieces with children. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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When Baby T came home from daycare and his daily "report" said, "Baby T liked painting, but we had to put away the paints because he only wanted to paint his arms," I thought, what do you expect? He's two.

Doing crafts with kids isn't about a pretty result; it's usually about exploring materials and using all the senses. Give your kids the tools and stand back to witness the masterpiece. Then, give them a bath and start all over the next day.

Read more about how to create with kids on my guest post at Natural Parents Network!


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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Family Draw Time Art Show — Kate Wicker shares art (and inspiration!) from her family's cherished tradition of family draw time.
• The Rules of Creativity: Learning to Create with the "Non-Creative" — Zoe at Give an Earthly shares how she learned to accept her "non-creative" child and claims that anyone, child or adult, can be creative given the right handling and environment.
• Creating With Kids: 4 Ways That Work For Us — See how Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings nurtures creativity with her kids through craft projects, outdoor creative play, celebrating the creative process, and setting up "little spaces of beauty."
• Creating memories, not things — Mrs. Green from Little Green Blog reflects on life with a ten year old and how 'creating together' has evolved from 'things' to memories.
• The Gift of Creation — It may be hot, but Kellie at Our Mindful Life is already thinking about winter.
• Hidden Talents — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how providing the opportunity for creativity sometimes means learning to look for hidden talents in unusual places.
• Creating Joy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she and her one year-old son create joy for their community.
• How to do Crafts with Kids — Gaby from Tmuffin guest posts at Natural Parents Network and describes how to keep things simple when doing crafts with kids for magical (easy-to-clean, and tantrum-free) results.
• Sugar & Spice & Baking on the Kitchen Floor — Carrie at Love Notes Mama enjoys making a mess in the kitchen with her daughter.
• Young Scientist Makes Purple Potion — Hannah at Wild Parenting loves being a lab assistant for the young scientist in her life.
• Making a butterfly house — Lauren at Hobo Mama demonstrates the proper way to build a wooden butterfly house with a preschooler.
• Nurturing Creativity — Amyables at Toddler In Tow shares the enjoyment she feels in nurturing the creativity of her children.
• Home School Music - Sparking A New Generation Of Musicians — Based on her musical background, Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey talks about how she creates with and teaches music to her children.
• Creating (im)perfectly Together — Mudpiemama shares some of the highlights of a summer spent building everything from ships to hoops but most of a lesson on letting go of perfection.
• Family Soccer Kick Around — When her children wanted to play soccer, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children helped organize something that would work for her family.
• Creating Memories Together on Skype — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how you can create memories online with adult children or anyone who lives in another city or country.
• We'll always have Halloween: Creating costumes for kids — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is not the craftiest mom on the block, but she does make a mean homemade Halloween costume.
• Let's Make Juice! — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment shares about the benefits of juicing with kids, as well as a quick recipe.
• Everything's Better When It's Homemade — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro praises the art of homemade goods.
• Creating the Opportunity for Art — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction shares how her family has created an environment conducive to art.
• 10 Easy and Functional Crafts Preschoolers Can Do with Minimal Assistance — Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers ten easy crafts preschoolers can do while sitting near parents — but they don't need a lot of parental help. Added bonus: all of these ten ideas double as something functional (gifts, decor, educational).
• Creating with Kids: Singing Together — Ana at Pandamoly details the important role music takes in her household and provides a quick (and easy!) tutorial for creating fun songs to sing together!
• Create This — jessica at instead of institutions considers different aspects of creativity including those without an end product.
• Make Your Own Pocket Bib — A tutorial from Amy at Anktangle on how to make two simple and quick bibs to keep your little one clean at the table.
• Creating Together in the Kitchen — Despite not feeling "crafty," Momma Jorje finds a way to create and connect with her toddler.
• An Artist-Mama's Perspective — In this post, Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses the differences between her choice of artistic outlet and her son's, and how they embrace those differences together.
• Heart of the Home — Jona at Life, Intertwined shares some highlights of cooking with kids.
• Getting creative with kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how much she enjoys watching her daughter getting creative.
• Creating with Children - The Nature/Seasonal Table — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama celebrates the rhythm of the natural world with her toddler through the creation of a seasonal nature table.
• How Involving My Kid Saves My Sanity — The Happy Hippie Homemaker explains how involving her toddler in projects allows her to get more done, while providing valuable opportunities to teach and to bond (added bonus: amazing oatmeal raisin cookie recipe!).
• In the Kitchen with Kids — Cooking with Real and Pretend Food — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle engages her kids in the kitchen with culinary creations of both real and pretend food.

INSPIRATION THURSDAY: QUESTIONS FOR THE VILLAGE

It takes a village. Here are some questions for my village people.

Raising a toddler is insane. I thought I was insecure about my abilities to raise an infant, but raising a toddler takes things to a whole new level. Now that he can talk, listen, and remember what I tell him, I feel myself wavering with everything I do. I’m an admittedly inconsistent parent. That worked for us when he was a baby, though. It helped me listen to him and respond appropriately to how my baby needed me at the time. I didn’t have any rules, really. I just did what felt right.

Now that Baby T is a toddler, I’m not sure that inconsistency is the best policy. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m not organizing his chaotic mind enough. Other times I feel like all I do is talk and redirect him: “Let’s get out of the fridge now. Please use gentle hands on your brother. Feet on the floor, please. Take that out of your mouth. Sit properly on that chair.” It seems like everything he does lately is dangerous or hurtful, and I’m constantly redirecting. Sometimes I get tired of hearing my own voice.

So I wanted to ask the inspirational mamas who posted about their parenting philosophies for the Carnival of Natural Parenting this month: What would you do? That’s right—I’m blatantly begging for advice.

Dear Natural Mamas: My son is a toddler. And I have no idea how to lovingly guide him and nurture his spirit while setting boundaries and keeping him out of danger and out of the fridge.

WHAT IS ATTACHMENT PARENTING ANYWAY?

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Before I had kids, I had a slight idea of what my parenting philosophy was: I basically knew that I wanted an open, respectful relationship with my kids. But that was it. I was never much of a babysitter; I had never been around kids before. I had no idea how to breastfeed and deal with sleep issues, much less discipline and deal with the teenage years. I started to become addicted to the forums on mothering.com. I scoured the Gentle Discipline forum and the one about sleep. I was forming an idea of how I wanted to parent.

I read a lot about attachment parenting and natural parenting. A lot of it resonated with me. I decided I wanted to be an AP mama. The idea that being there for your baby whenever he needs you made sense to me. If baby feels secure with mama and at home, he’s more likely to venture out and explore the world at his own pace.

Then Baby T was born. The one parenting issue that I knew my indecisive self would never waver on was breastfeeding. It was my only option. Luckily, there were no challenges in that department. I say luckily because there were challenges in every other department.