Thank You for Your Opinion

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.
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I’ve always felt that becoming a mom makes you feel like you’re part of a club. There is this sorority of women who know the unique challenges you face, who nod emphatically when you talk about the last time you showered, the never-ending dish Everest on your kitchen counter, and the constant poop smell in your bathroom. Maybe at the beginning, you make excuses for it, but by the time a few months have gone by, even you don’t think it’s strange that you’re wearing you pajamas in Target.

In a way, becoming a mom makes you less judgmental. Whereas you used to scowl at the moms in the grocery store as they dragged along their toddlers who were sticky with that morning’s pancake breakfast, wearing swimsuit bottoms and a winter jacket, now you understand. Whereas you used to make a point of looking away when you saw a child throwing a tantrum in the shopping cart, now you give those kids’ moms a knowing half-smile.

I’m now the mom who has the kid with green boogers constantly running from his nose, hair perpetually un-brushed, who is dressed in either unmatched pajamas or the same color from head to toe. I let him run around explore the grocery store and yell express himself in parking lots. I let my kids pull all the books off the bookshelf if that’s what they want to do. I let Baby T paint his toys instead of paper because it keeps him busy for minutes at a time. I probably do all the things I said I would never do.

So why is there still a conflict among mamas when it comes to breastfeeding, discipline, and even medical issues like vaccinations and circumcision? When Baby T runs into another mom at the grocery store, her kids buckled tightly into the shopping cart, and she gives me a dirty look, why do I feel like she’s judging me? I can practically hear the teenage me saying, “Can’t you keep control of your kids?”

Here’s the thing though: my toddler stops when he reaches the edge of the street. He holds my hand in parking lots. He knows that electrical outlets can be dangerous. He understands that he shouldn’t hurt, push, or kick other people, and he seems genuinely sorry when he does hurt someone. I’m confident that I’m raising compassionate, caring, curious kids.

Honestly, I get more sweet smiles from old ladies and other moms than dirty looks. I don’t often feel judged. And when I do have to respond to a judgmental comment, I use a phrase a wise friend suggested. I just smile and say, “Thank you for your opinion.”


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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)

• How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment — At Natural Parents Network, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.
• Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.
• Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.
• When Other Parents Disagree With You — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka Witch Mom, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!
• Mama Bashing — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.
• Accentuate the Positive — Joella at Fine and Fair shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.
• The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents — Tara from MUMmedia offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.
• Trying to build our village — Sheila at A Gift Universe tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.
• Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.
• Parenting with Convictions — Sarah at Parenting God's Children encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.
• How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles... — Jenny at I'm a Full-Time Mummy shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.
• Public Relations — Momma Jorje touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.
• Navigating Parenting Politics — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at The Other Baby Book shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.
• Hiding in my grace cave — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents — Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings.
• Empathy and respect — Helen at zen mummy tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.
• Not Holier Than Thou — Amyables at Toddler in Tow muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.
• Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.
• Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.
• Homeschooling: Why Not? — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.
• If You Can’t Say Something Nice… — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.
• Different Rules for Different Families — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.
• Respectful Interaction With Other Parents — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own.

• Parenting as a mirror — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, Kate Wicker discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.
• The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best — Christine at African Babies Don't Cry finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her.
• Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality — MudpieMama reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions.
• Speaking Up For Those Who Can't — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at Up Down, And Natural is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…"
• Thank you for your opinion — Gaby at Tmuffin shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.
• Mending — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at Million Tiny Things is needed.
• The Thing You Don't Know — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents.
• 3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.
• Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana — How do you keep your cool? Ana from Pandamoly shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.
• Kind Matters — Carrie at Love Notes Mama discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.
• Doing it my way but respecting your highway. — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!
• Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.
• Have another kid and you won't care — Cassie of There's a Pickle in My Life, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.
• Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.
• A Little Light Conversation — Zoie at TouchstoneZ explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.
• Why I used to hide the formula box — Laura at Pug in the Kitchen finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.
• Assumptions — Nada at minimomist discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
• Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.
• Respectfully Interacting with Others Online — Lani at Boobie Time Blog discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet.
• Presumption of Good Will — Why — and how — Crunchy Con Mommy is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.
• Being Gracious with Parenting Advice — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at My World Edenwild.
• Explain, Smile, Escape — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at Anktangle shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).
• Balancing Cultures and Choices — Dulce de leche discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.
• Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media — Hannabert's Mom discusses parenting in a social media world.

Whiny

I've been complaining a lot lately. Mostly about sleep. And I realized that if I were to actually listen to myself, I would probably roll my eyes at myself. My situation is pretty great. My kids go to bed at 7 P.M. There is some hemming and hawing, but they are asleep by 8. They still usually nap. Hell, Baby T is in daycare all day three days a week. I can sleep when Little M sleeps if I want to. I have time to get things done for myself, even if I choose not to.

Then I realized that if I were to listen to someone else complain this way, I might roll my eyes at them. Inwardly, of course. So I'm sorry I've been complaining about a pretty great life.

But as parents, most of us have one thing. The thing we don't waver on. The thing we do unfailingly no matter what. I posted a little about my thing the other day. For me, that thing is breastfeeding. I knew I was going to breastfeed my kids. I never minded being stuck to the couch for 40 minutes at a time, every hour on the hour. I never considered the fact that sometimes only I could soothe my crying child a hindrance. It never bothered me that it was me getting up with the baby at night or me doing bedtime because it was just the way it turned out, since I was the one nursing. You see, for me, breastfeeding was never challenging, because I knew that I would do it no matter how challenging it actually was, so I took away the drama.

Sleep, on the other hand, was a different story. I didn't know what to expect, so I didn't have any expectations. I tend to agree with attachment parenting ideals, but I also turn into a total freak if I'm sleep-deprived and exhausted. I always said I wouldn't support the cry-it-out mentality, but it wasn't my thing. So when it comes to sleep, it is all about drama. It is such a challenge. I've succumbed to letting my kids cry in their cribs at one point or another when the only other option would have been throwing them out the window.

After my kids turned one, I found dealing with bedtimes and nighttime wakeups annoying, even infuriating at times. I recently had a friend tell me that it's so much harder for her to hear her 13-month-old daughter cry for any amount of time in her crib now than it was when her daughter was just a baby. I felt the opposite way. I feel like babies don't have any way of communicating and don't understand why no one is responding to their needs if you let them cry, but when my toddler screams from his crib, "Mom! I need you!" it doesn't break my heart; it only sounds like manipulative whining to me.

So when Baby T changed from that kid who asks to go to bed, lies down, pulls up the blankets, says goodnight and sleeps through the night to that kid who climbs out of his crib, appears next to the bed at midnight sucking on his paci Maggie-Simpson-style, and wakes up at 4 A.M. turning all the lights on, it was practically an earth-shattering event in my house.

But it's all about perspective. I keep asking my sister how she managed it with two kids in a New York apartment. Her kids share a room. Her kids have shared a room since her second child was about three months old. When I ask my sister how she did it,she just shrugs her shoulders and says that it just worked out. But sleep is her thing out of necessity. She didn't have another place to put her second child. She always knew her kids would share a room, and there wasn't another option. She never complained about one waking the other up or the challenges that come about from a baby sharing a room with his three-year-old brother.

And I realized...the way to release the drama from motherhood is to make everything your thing. To do that, you must:

• Get rid of all expectations
• Live in the moment
• Address each action as it occurs; don't expect it to happen again, but don't expect it to never happen again either.
• Don't obsessively picture what your future will be like if you act a certain way today. 
• Remember: tomorrow is another day.
• Imagine the moment you first held your child in your arms.
• Imagine the moment your child will grow taller than you, leave for college, or get married.
• Have a beer, relax with friends, and get some sleep now and then.

The Big Boy Bed

In my last post, I talked about how, when I sought support for breastfeeding, it was often just empathy that I wanted. I often act like I want answers, but I often just want to know that other people are going through the same things that I am. And I often act like I have answers, but I really don't. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to mothering. In this blog, although I often try to post constructive content that sounds like I've found the answer, I really don't have any answers.

What is Baby-Led Weaning Anyway?

Do I follow the baby-led weaning philosophy? It’s not like I sit my baby in the high chair and frantically shovel food down his throat at breakfast, lunch and dinner. I read his cues, and if he seems hungry while I’m eating, I feed him. But I do feed him store-bought baby food.

I mentioned when I wrote my post entitled "What is Attachment Parenting Anyway?" that I don’t like labels. It’s partly my own insecurity; because I don’t fit into any one label, I find it hard to attach labels to my parenting style. I have also found that trying to subscribe to any one label as a mother has interfered with my own intuition. For example, when Baby T was younger, I read so many books on sleep that I completely lost my own natural rhythm as a mother. It was like I completely forgot how to do anything without consulting a book.

The Lazy Mom's Guide to Night Weaning

Oh, you thought this would give you the easy answers? Oops--Don't get all excited by the title. This isn't really a guide. I'm too lazy to figure it out.You all know that sleep is probably my biggest challenge as a mom. It’s not even the lack of sleep; I can function great somewhat normally on only a few hours of sleep, at least for a few days. It's the waking up right after I've fallen asleep. Being groggy and stumbling around in the middle of the night is not my forte. I'm cranky and I'm mean and I'm not all there.

That's if I have to get up.

If I can just roll around in bed, I'm great. It's snuggly and cuddly and I can just rest. It's when I have to stand upright that all hell breaks loose.

Preventing Tantrums through Play

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Ever since Baby T has been old enough to throw tantrums, it seems like my #1 parenting principle and mantra has been: Prevent Tantrum. It guides my day and parenting style. I’ve heard of the book “Playful Parenting” and have wanted to read it, because it seems right up my alley. I have found that the following equations are true:

Stern voice + controlling attitude = Tantrum
Loud voice + controlling attitude = Tantrum
Firm demands for compliance = Tantrum
Playing a game = a lot of extra time carved out of your day = an accommodating, happy-go-lucky kid

I never particularly planned to go this route, but it just began to happen. Toddlers need guidance well before they are old enough to use logic and reason (or even to be able to completely understand what you say to them). But they can sure throw tantrums before they have logic, reason, or communication.

So as Baby T began to need little bits of guidance here and there, we dealt that guidance with a fun, playful attitude. If we didn’t, it turned into—you guessed it—a tantrum. As you can see from the equations above, all we needed to do was throw our plans for efficiency out the window and keep a playful attitude. We were on toddler time now.

Sleep Training Part IV—The Data Behind the Philosophy

According to an article called “Sleep Disorders and Sleep Problems in Childhood,” written by C. Carolyn Thiedke, M.D., and published in American Family Physician, sleep behaviors are some of the most discussed concerns between parents and pediatricians. She makes a distinction between sleep disorders and sleep problems, however. Thiedke defines a sleep disorder as one “confirmed by reproducible findings in a sleep laboratory” and a sleep problem as “a sleep pattern that is unsatisfactory to the parents, child or physician.”

Sleep Training Part III – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

I’ve been talking about how I’m not really into sleep training, and I think it’s more important to be responsive to your baby than to establish a strict routine or let baby cry it out. And in my last post, I mentioned that I’m confident that Little M will eventually sleep through the night without having to resort to crying it out.

And I am.

But it’s easy to doubt myself, which is what I did the other night.

Sleep Training Part II – Then and Now

Baby T asleep on Big T's shoulder

Here’s my history with sleep and Baby T. You’ve probably heard it all before. He woke up often, especially between three and seven months. Sometimes he was waking every 20 minutes. I soothed him to sleep every time; I nursed him to sleep, rocked him to sleep, or wore him in a sling or a wrap to get him to sleep. Even in the middle of the night.

I read Elizabeth Pantley’s “No-Cry Sleep Solution,” and it made a lot of sense. There are people who say that it’s too complicated or it didn’t work for them. But I secretly think that the No-Cry Sleep Solution isn’t anything different than what you would do with a little common sense. It’s just a way to gradually (and she stresses gradually) wean your child off of being rocked, nursed, or worn to sleep. And eventually, they do gradually wean off of it.

But I was never alert enough at night to really try the steps in the “No-Cry Sleep Solution.” I just went back to the old standby: nursing, and if that didn’t get Baby T back to sleep, then rocking or babywearing did.

Inspiration Thursday - Learning by Example

As you know, I have struggled with just about everything that comes along with motherhood. I am constantly questioning whether I’m doing it right, and whether the way I’m acting now is going to lead my kids to be psycho serial killers when they’re older. When I was dealing with Baby T waking every 20 minutes at night at six months old, I read Marc Weissbluth’s “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” And I closed it when I read that a baby who doesn’t sleep X hours a night will result in a bratty, obese kid. I thought that was a little much.

And I was also a little scared. Baby T never slept as long as all the charts recommended. And I wasn’t as consistent as the experts suggested. And I was afraid I’d be nursing him and rocking him to sleep until he was in college. And then one day I laid Baby T down after he didn’t fall asleep nursing, and he went to sleep without a peep. And I looked back and thought, In hindsight, I did everything right.

Fast forward to issues with discipline. I have wavered back and forth from feeling like I’m not setting enough guidelines for Baby T to feeling like all I do is tell him what he can’t do, even though I try not to. I was recently really insecure about how I was handling his neediness and his tantrums.

And then I went to Asheville last weekend to meet a bunch of women who I’ve known for a long time. We met in the TTC forums on Mothering.com when we were all trying to conceive our babies. Now our babies are all two years old, give or take a couple of months. It’s amazing to think that I’ve known these women through some of the most important parts of my life.

I know more about them than most people I am acquainted with in real life, and they know more about me. I have always shared my fears, insecurities, and triumphs with them. And I respect just about everything they do.

It was so inspiring to spend the weekend with them. One of the reasons why is because I got to see how different everyone was, and how similar we all were at the same time. We all have similar goals for our children: we stress gentle discipline and natural parenting.

But our kids our very different. Namely, my kid. Baby T was by far the craziest kid there. He was whinier, tantrummier, and louder than the other kids. And I was noticing something: even though I try not to say “no” to Baby T a lot, Big T and I had fallen into the habit of saying “no” to a lot of things that weren’t important. And my friends were more “go with the flow” kind of parents.

When Baby T wants to paint, sometimes I say “no” because I don’t feel like pulling out the paints and paper. When we were at the grocery store just to pick up one thing and he wanted to go in the shopping cart that looked like a car, we started to say “no,” because it would take longer. When he started to whine and yell about it, we realized that it wouldn’t hurt anyone to let him ride in the cart. Yes, he likes to grab things off the shelves and get in and out of the cart every time we stop. Yes, it would take a little bit longer than just running in while holding him. But would it prevent a tantrum? Yes. Into the cart he went.

It’s easy to get used to a particular way of thinking or acting when parenting, and it can be a vicious cycle. Stepping back every once in a while to reassess the situation, your child, and your actions can be a big help. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to have inspiring role models around you.

Baby T hasn’t thrown a tantrum in a while. He has been much more agreeable since last weekend. And Big T and I have been going with the flow a little more. Thanks to all of those parents who continually inspire me to step back and reassess my parenting, making me a better mother.

What inspires you? 
Add a link to your Inspiration Thursday blog post below.
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Wordless Wednesday: Close to My Heart

I wanted to post a breastfeeding picture in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, but I think I've posted all of the ones I have at some point or another. I wanted to post something new. When Little M was sick a few weeks ago, I put him in the Moby skin-to-skin to help soothe him. I loved the fact that he was curled up so close to my chest, and he looked like he might have looked when he was inside me. I had Big T take a picture.

I love this. If this doesn't make you want to wear your baby, nothing will:

MONDAY MOMENTS: Attached and Connected Through Motherhood

I’m joining Capital Mom to share my Monday Moment. Check out her blog for other Monday Moments and to join in on the fun!

Today’s theme is Alone. When I read that, I dug deep down to think about what I could write about. The word is so far out of my vocabulary these days. I almost skipped this week, but then I decided to challenge myself and really let myself sit with that word for a moment. In between diaper changes, cleaning poop off the floor, tiptoeing between what seems like thousand little Hot Wheels cars strewn across the living room, showering with my toddler, discussing the challenges of mothering with my friends, nursing an infant, distracting a toddler who wants to nurse, bouncing a little one on my lap, and lots of hugs, I thought about the word.

Alone.

And I realized that it’s just not part of my vocabulary anymore. When I wrote my post questioning my parenting style and wondering if I can, in fact, label it as attachment parenting, I wasn’t sure. There are many things I do that go in the other direction.

INSPIRATION THURSDAY: QUESTIONS FOR THE VILLAGE

It takes a village. Here are some questions for my village people.

Raising a toddler is insane. I thought I was insecure about my abilities to raise an infant, but raising a toddler takes things to a whole new level. Now that he can talk, listen, and remember what I tell him, I feel myself wavering with everything I do. I’m an admittedly inconsistent parent. That worked for us when he was a baby, though. It helped me listen to him and respond appropriately to how my baby needed me at the time. I didn’t have any rules, really. I just did what felt right.

Now that Baby T is a toddler, I’m not sure that inconsistency is the best policy. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m not organizing his chaotic mind enough. Other times I feel like all I do is talk and redirect him: “Let’s get out of the fridge now. Please use gentle hands on your brother. Feet on the floor, please. Take that out of your mouth. Sit properly on that chair.” It seems like everything he does lately is dangerous or hurtful, and I’m constantly redirecting. Sometimes I get tired of hearing my own voice.

So I wanted to ask the inspirational mamas who posted about their parenting philosophies for the Carnival of Natural Parenting this month: What would you do? That’s right—I’m blatantly begging for advice.

Dear Natural Mamas: My son is a toddler. And I have no idea how to lovingly guide him and nurture his spirit while setting boundaries and keeping him out of danger and out of the fridge.

WHAT IS ATTACHMENT PARENTING ANYWAY?

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Philosophy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Before I had kids, I had a slight idea of what my parenting philosophy was: I basically knew that I wanted an open, respectful relationship with my kids. But that was it. I was never much of a babysitter; I had never been around kids before. I had no idea how to breastfeed and deal with sleep issues, much less discipline and deal with the teenage years. I started to become addicted to the forums on mothering.com. I scoured the Gentle Discipline forum and the one about sleep. I was forming an idea of how I wanted to parent.

I read a lot about attachment parenting and natural parenting. A lot of it resonated with me. I decided I wanted to be an AP mama. The idea that being there for your baby whenever he needs you made sense to me. If baby feels secure with mama and at home, he’s more likely to venture out and explore the world at his own pace.

Then Baby T was born. The one parenting issue that I knew my indecisive self would never waver on was breastfeeding. It was my only option. Luckily, there were no challenges in that department. I say luckily because there were challenges in every other department.