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Monday, July 25, 2011

MONDAY MOMENTS: Attached and Connected Through Motherhood

I’m joining Capital Mom to share my Monday Moment. Check out her blog for other Monday Moments and to join in on the fun!

Today’s theme is Alone. When I read that, I dug deep down to think about what I could write about. The word is so far out of my vocabulary these days. I almost skipped this week, but then I decided to challenge myself and really let myself sit with that word for a moment. In between diaper changes, cleaning poop off the floor, tiptoeing between what seems like thousand little Hot Wheels cars strewn across the living room, showering with my toddler, discussing the challenges of mothering with my friends, nursing an infant, distracting a toddler who wants to nurse, bouncing a little one on my lap, and lots of hugs, I thought about the word.


And I realized that it’s just not part of my vocabulary anymore. When I wrote my post questioning my parenting style and wondering if I can, in fact, label it as attachment parenting, I wasn’t sure. There are many things I do that go in the other direction.

But I am never alone because I always feel…


Because I feel as though that word can have a negative connotation—it conjures up the idea of inflexibility—I decided to look the word up in the dictionary. In Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, it defines the word as:

And in a way, that’s right on. After spending so much of my life trying to figure out who I was, I finally feel like I know. Although I feel that life is about growth and I always try to learn and broaden who I am, I’m pretty attached to that person. There are things about me that don’t waver: I’m a homebody. I prefer a few very close friends to many acquaintances. I need to create.

And I’m attached to my kids, my family, and my friends. But the word that comes to my mind when I think about the fact that I’m not alone is connected.

That word makes much more sense. Right off the bat, there are 5 different ways to define the word. That’s much more my style.

  1. Joined or linked together: There’s the obvious umbilical cord reference. But motherhood has made me feel joined and linked to a greater purpose.
  2. Having the parts or elements logically linked together: It makes sense. I don’t feel like my life is all over the place anymore—even when it is all over the place. I feel like everything is always moving in the right direction, and for a reason. Whether it relates to my children, my friends, or my current goals, it’s all interconnected, and it makes me feel grounded.
  3. Related by blood or marriage: The umbilical cord again; the connectedness of the family
  4. Having social, professional, or commercial relationships: The social aspect of this stood out to me. I just had three friends over for a playdate. There were four adults and six kids running around the house. We were trying to corral them outside so we could do some chalk painting on the driveway, but I had to make the paint. Baby T had been a little clingy all morning, but he went outside with my friends and played while I got the paint ready inside. Being connected is about knowing that your friends will take your kids under their wings when necessary. One of my friends was also marveling at how amazing it was that we’re all such different people, yet we have similar goals, similar values when it comes to raising our children, and similar ideals for living a green lifestyle. We’re connected.
  5. Of a set: incapable of being separated into two or more closed disjoint subsets: This is how I feel about my family, my friends, my community, and my life. I’ve become connected, and the connection is strong. No one can tear it apart.
I’m so not alone.


Capital Mom said... Best Blogger Tips

You are right. Even when I am alone, I'm not. My family is always in my thoguhts. They are always with me.

Barbara (@OttMomGo) said... Best Blogger Tips

It's great when Capital Mom gives us this thinking homework, isn't it. Sometimes I think about what she has selected for the Monday Moment and don't get a response written. It was interesting to follow along your thought process. Thanks for sharing.

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