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Monday, July 4, 2011

MONDAY MOMENTS: AN UNEXPECTED REQUEST

I haven't really posted about this, because there was so much going on at the time. But guess what?

Baby T has weaned.

He stopped nursing about 2 or three months ago. It has kind of been such a nonevent that I didn't even mark it in my baby book. That's not what was unexpected, though.

It's when he asks to nurse again. Which happens at least once a week.

Let me rewind: After Little M was born, I went through the whole roller coaster, debating whether to tandem nurse or not. And I did for a while, because it was easier. But Baby T was really only nursing in the mornings, and Little M was sleeping late. So it was our time to snuggle together. But then Little M started waking up earlier and I would be nursing him in bed when Baby T woke up, so daddy started getting Baby T.

And that coincided with Baby T starting to blurt out commands when he felt uncomfortable. "Mommy's milk!" would be repeated in the same breath as "Hold you!" (by which he means "hold me.") He was starting tantrums and also starting to be able to communicate when he needed comfort. But his requests for mommy's milk only happened in the mornings. It was almost like he didn't really want it but he was so used to blurting it out when he saw me. So I started distracting him. And he stopped nursing in the mornings. He asked for it every morning for a week or two, and then started forgetting about it. But he still asked every two or three days for about a month.

And then he didn't ask again. He may have asked a time or two when I was nursing Little M, but in a jealous way. And then he asked randomly maybe three weeks after he weaned. He pulled on my shirt one day and said, "Eat milk, mommy." I said, "Do you want your leche bottle?" He said, "No! I want to eat mommy's milk!" Hmmm...

And then today. Out of the blue. He looked at me and said, so sweetly,
"I want milk, mommy."

I knew where this was going.

Again, I asked, "Do you want your sippy cup?"
"No." But then he stuttered, like he forgot what to ask for. "I want... mom..."
and then he walked away.

Every time he asks, it throws me off guard. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I don't want to nurse him. I kind of want to give in every time. Would you?

This post is part of Capital Mom's Monday Moments. Join her to share special moments based on a different theme each week. This week's theme was "unexpected."

3 comments:

Perspective said... Best Blogger Tips

What a great post! I love the end of this when he said, "I want...mom.." and walked away. What a bittersweet moment...almost made me cry! I feel you about wanting to give in. I told my husband just the other night that I will somehow feel guilty and sad about not nursing them anymore. How I'm hoping that they will wean themselves, because it's going to BREAK MY HEART to deny them something I've so freely offered them and provided them with since the moment that they were born...to take something away that brings such comfort and security. When I started breastfeeding after my boys were born, I never knew that I would come to feel this strongly about it or that it would turn out to mean so much. Wishing you all of the best on this journey!

Capital Mom said... Best Blogger Tips

That is hard. Maybe you need to think about what you want. Would you be happy to keep nursing him? If you are ready to be done then distractions/ redirections sound like a good idea.

Jet's Journey said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm so thrilled you posted about this today!

My husband and I were talking (literally) half an hour ago about the appropriate age to wean J or any child for that matter. We both determined that it's clearly up to the child and the nursing mother. For me, I would like to nurse J at least until he's 2. But you bring up a good point: If there's another baby in the picture, would I tandem nurse? Probably not. So, do I begin the weaning process during pregnancy? That way there aren't too many "changes" in J's life with the acceptance of a new baby?

I like your thoughts on "all or nothing." I agree that children of Baby T's age cannot understand the inconsistency, even in location, of nursing sessions. I think if there are going to be limits, the limits should be as you mentioned - you can state your desire to nurse (in a perfectly beautiful, polite sentence) and then you will get lots of cuddles. Sounds like a perfect compromise to me!

I wouldn't, however, go back to nursing him. I think he would be so confused and since you've set those boundaries, like it or not, it's your job to keep them. :( I feel like it's a good sign that he wanders away...

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