MASON'S BIRTH STORY (PART 2)

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling fine and called Pamela. She thought I should go into the office to test whether the fluid was amniotic fluid. And I can't even remember in what order I did things. At some point, I dropped Baby T off with my neighbor, who took him every Tuesday anyway, and explained to her that I thought my water had broken and maybe today was the day. At some point I also rushed into the office to see one of the other midwives who was meeting me between births at the hospital.

She checked me. It was amniotic fluid for sure. A slow leak. She called Pamela. They wanted me to come to the hospital at 4 PM for an induction if contractions didn't start on their own before that. But they would probably start on their own. I was 5 cm dilated. I was ready to go. I didn't feel a thing.

I cried. Induction was my worst nightmare. At least my body was halfway ready for this birth. I wasn't starting from scratch. But I really, really, really didn't want to be induced.

I stopped by work and told them my maternity leave was starting. They looked at me like I was crazy and kept asking me why I wasn't at home or at the hospital. "Because I'm not in labor," I would respond (over and over again). It got a little annoying. But now I was afraid I would start having contractions while I was driving, so I did go home.

It turns out I had nothing to worry about. No contractions yet. At home, I did everything I could to get things going. I pumped. I took homeopathics. I played Wii. Four o'clock came and still nothing. I called Pamela. I had hesitated to take the final, horrifying step--the castor oil. But finally it came to that. The last resort. I gulped it down in some root beer and chased it with a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (midwife's orders--a foolproof recipe).

Still nothing.

Seriously? Big T and I talked all day about why things couldn't just go normally. Why wasn't this baby wanting to come out? How hilarious is it that in movies, when a woman's water breaks, all hell breaks loose and, panicked, they can't get to the hospital in time? The farce of it all.

Of course I have to do things a little abnormally. So when the castor oil brought on no contractions--not even intestinal cramping--I knew I had to go. I was a little sad and a little excited. I was glad that the car ride was comfortable and I wasn't on my hands and knees in the backseat, writhing in pain with every bump. But I still didn't want to be induced. It was about 8 PM on Tuesday night. I had gone to the hospital with Baby T at just about this time on a Tuesday night as well.

At the hospital, Big T asked if I wanted him to drop me off. "Uh, no... just park. I can walk. I feel fine." We got up to labor and delivery and I hesitantly told the nurse that I was there for an induction. We were shown to our room. We waited for Pamela to arrive. I was nervous, but still felt fine.

When Pamela arrived, the routine began. The IV drip, the monitor... I was hooked up. They pressed the button and the pitocin began. It was kind of nice, at first. Pamela and I chatted. We hadn't seen each other in a while and were able to catch up with each other. Every half hour or so, the pitocin was increased. I was given a telemetry unit so I could walk around. Big T and I walked. We did the loop around the labor and delivery floor about 10 times. It was boring. I was bored. I really didn't feel anything.

I did lunges. I squatted. I bounced on the exercise ball. I stood up a lot. I figured gravity would help. Still nothing. Around 11 PM, I was starting to get tired. Since I wasn't feeling any contractions yet, I told everyone that I wanted to take a nap and get ready. I fell asleep.

Around midnight, I woke up. BAM!! A contraction so strong I had to vocalize through it. Just like that. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had forgotten what this felt like. This was so much more intense than with Baby T. With Baby T, I wanted silence. This time, I had to moan through every single contraction. It was the only way I could get through them.

I immediately got the shakes. This had happened with Baby T, too. I couldn't help but keep comparing the two births. I was shaking so hard I was afraid I would bite my tongue. It was uncontrollable and it freaked me out more than anything else. Then Big T put his hand on my head and the shaking stopped. It was like instant calm. It was all I wanted. I spent the next half hour standing next to the bed. Big T had to be touching me the whole time or I would shake. He kept me sane. Between contractions, I would bend over and put my head down on the bed. But during contractions, I had to be upright. It hurt too much for my torso to be bent.

During the next half hour, things were even more intense, and I was getting tired. I sat on the rocking chair to rest. By this time, the contractions were coming on top of one another. I would moan through until the peak, expecting it to subside, and it would just peak and peak and peak. I remember saying (moaning) something like, "Why is it not stopping?"

And my body started to heave. I never felt the urge to push with Baby T, so I really didn't know what it felt like. This time, it felt like I was about to vomit, but in the wrong direction. My stomach was heaving uncontrollably, like giant vomitous hiccups. It was insane.

It was about that time that I figured I should take my pants off. I had never changed out of the clothes I came in. And I figured if a baby was going to come out, I probably shouldn't have my pants on. It was hard to get out of them since the contractions weren't giving me a chance to rest, but I had help. I got up on the bed in a semi-sitting position. I was exhausted. I really hoped this feeling was a pushing feeling, because I couldn't stay up all night. I'm no party animal anymore.

Pamela encouraged me and told me I was doing great. Big T told me I was doing great, the whole time keeping his hand on my forehead. Things were getting more intense. I was definitely yelling profanities. (What's new?) During one strong push, I felt the baby drop, water gushed out, and I felt an intense burning in my cervix. This was happening. My body was doing it!

A blur of profanity as he crowned. There was a lot of motherf*cker going on. I held back for a moment. Then I pushed the baby out at about 1:30 AM.




I remember thinking that it was over so quickly, and I was relieved that I wouldn't have to be up all night. I remember asking if he was breathing, because he wasn't crying. I remember Big T saying, "He looks like a Mason." And I agreed. And I held Little M to my chest and kissed his head. I noticed that he didn't have as much hair as Baby T, and it was lighter. His umbilical cord was thick, and there was a loose knot in it.



Pamela and Little M



They had to take him to the warmer for a minute or two because his temperature dropped, but he came back to me and found my breast. He nursed for a long, long time. My baby was here, and I was in love again.