The toy described in the poem. Which was awesome. Once it was put together. |
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Every creature was stirring, probably even a mouse.
No stockings were hung, but we didn't care.
St. Nicholas was coming, and Baby T was scared.
Baby T was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of a fat intruder danced in his head.
And mama was exhausted, and dad was tired too,
But we had lots of assembly and wrapping to do.
When in the garage there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my wrapping to see what was the matter.
Away to the door I flew like a flash,
And heard Big T cursing:" damn it! This sucks ass."
He was putting together the new special toy
And the parts weren't right--didn't fit; were too tight.
When he decided to pull out the big power tools
And drilled an extra hole, and it really worked too.
Turns out good old Big T, so lively and quick,
was just as handy as the toyman St Nick.
But he lamented the toy, as from China it came,
And he yelled, and he shouted, and called it bad names!
"Now assholes! How could you make toys that need fixing,
when we paid lots of money. It's just really vexing!
But we can't bring it back; didn't get it at the mall.
Kind of wish we just didn't get it at all.
We got it at Costco, we were really frugal,
and when we meet with an obstacle, we go to Google.
So clicking on the keyboard my fingers they flew,
And I got the number for the company and their email too.
But it turns out the toy was really pretty sweet.
Uh oh--just then I thought I heard the pat of little feet!
I pictured me and Big T turning around
to see Baby T come into the room with a bound.
Turns out it wasn't him--I was just really nervous
That he would come into the room and see us
and all the wrapped toys flung all over the room,
and we'd be in for a night filled with doom.
His eyes they would twinkle, his cheeks would get red,
and we knew if that happened, he wouldn't go back to bed.
So we tiptoed around and soon laid down ourselves,
and pretended the presents were put there by elves.
Little M woke up first--at one in the morning,
while Big T and I were sleeping and snoring.
I stumbled to his room and rubbed his little tummy,
while he laid there happily getting his nummies.
Then at six in the morning came a little chubby elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
He woke Little M; said "Mom, get out of bed!"
Thinking it might only be 4 AM filled me with dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the den,
climbed up on the chair, turned the light on and then
saw all of the presents lying under the tree,
"Oh!" he said, "I think those are presents for me!"
He proceeded to open them, one after the other.
He even opened the ones that were meant for his brother.
But he's filled with the spirit, and what little kid isn't?
Merry Christmas! Now can I open more presents?
Here are some more pictures of the night before Christmas. I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday!!
Crashed on the couch on Christmas eve |
Baby T snuggling with Uncle Bubbles |
Checking out the tree |
Beautiful Christmas Eve dinner |
Sweet Sully |
Wearing Little M in the Ergo Back Carry |
We do still like to party. |
Looking for Santa? Nope. Looking for Pop Pop. |
Big T - The photogenic one in the family. |
I'm coming to get you mama! |
Brothers |
Practicing opening presents |
Writing a letter to Santa |
Trying to escape? Showing Santa the real way to travel? Just being cute? You decide. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! |
5 comments:
Your poem is hilarious! Brilliantly done! It sounds like the day was a success :)
Love this post! The poem is hilarious and so true.
Ha. Thanks!
Thanks Melissa! I hope you had a great Christmas too!
I loved it! This was very creative and funny!
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