Last week's topic was breaking the rules. This week's is about passing the torch. What does passing the torch mean to you when it comes to breastfeeding?
I have been breastfeeding for 19 solid months, and I don't plan on stopping for at least another 13... that will be almost 3 years of continual breastfeeding. I'm not passing the torch yet, but I am finding that the newborn phase of babyhood is leaving my life (for the time being, at least).
With Little M at the precipice of his 12-month birthday, I have two toddlers. One does not nurse but still asks periodically, and the other nurses frequently but distractedly. He pops off and inspects his feeding "instrument," chomps playfully, and pushes me away when he would rather go chase his brother.
Although I can commiserate with other moms of newborns, I no longer can use the phrase, "Oh, I know... my baby is doing that as well." Gone are the moments of shared frustration over newborn antics and the unknown that is a newborn.
Instead, I feel like a seasoned parent. I was hanging out in my kitchen the other day, both kids napping, wondering how I became old enough to have this huge responsibility. Who left me alone with these kids? But I thought it in a good way. I felt empowered, courageous, and inspired. Some things out there in the universe provided the energy that put me on this path and brought me to where I am today.
I still have a lot of questions about the future. I can't picture myself as a mom of college-aged kids yet, and I barely am equipped to handle a big-boy bed and tantrums, but I feel like you could throw a newborn at me--any newborn--and I could handle it.
This morning, as I hung out with a beautiful six-week-old boy who was a little gassy and uncomfortable, it was instinctual for me to reach out my hands and ask his mom if she knew how to massage his belly to help try to ease his discomfort. Later, as I watched that baby's mom confidently latch him on, rest her head back, and relax and chat as she rocked and nursed him, I smiled, knowing that there is a new batch of mamas out there ready to breastfeed their babies, support one another, and grow to be confident, seasoned parents.
I'm sure I will laugh at this post years down the road. I'll have learned so much more by then, and I'll think it's funny that I thought I was so experienced right now. But motherhood has a way of making you feel like you can take on the world. I want to share that feeling with as many other mamas as I can. We carried life within us for nine months. Our bodies make their sustenance. We share a stronger bond with these living beings that are our children than with anything else in this life.
Even though we mamas often feel nervous, insecure, emotional, and exhausted, my wish is that all mothers embrace what their role means to their families, to other women, and to themselves. Because moms are strong. They are almighty. They really can do anything.
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2 comments:
I have so many moments where I look at my kids and think to myself "Who thought it was a good idea to leave me in charge here?" I still have this feeling like I am babysitting or something. I'm kind of wondering when that feeling wears off...
I know, right? Sometimes I feel so old and sometimes I feel so young.
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